In The 40th Year, I Cried More, More, More!

The first time I had sex was amazing! As I explored the full extent of my imagination, all the mysteries I had only just heard about suddenly became real. It was everything I wanted it to be, and more! And less... It was over way too quickly, for both of us, and all I could think about was doing it again.

When I joined the Peace Corps in 2005, I was lost in life and searching for excitement and happiness. I found it in Bulgaria. I explored culture, language, poverty, richness, struggle, success, food, friendships, relationships, running, and most importantly, myself. I grew more in those two years of service than in any other segment of my life. During those two years of service, I hit super high highs, super low lows! It was the best thing I've ever done and despite the lengthy-sounding 27-month commitment, it finished too soon for both me and my hosting organization. As it had become so much a part of my personal development, I set a goal to serve again!

At the tender and naive age of 30, I decided that I would serve again just after getting married - like a Peace Corps honeymoon, and again in retirement, when I'm old. I did two short Peace Corps Response projects to tide me over while I waited for "The One" to sweep me off my feet - but she seems to be dragging hers... So, like I've learned so many times before, I adjusted my expectations and restructured my goals! I arbitrarily chose to celebrate my 40th birthday while serving in the Peace Corps! And I have begun my adventure to accomplish my new favorite arbitrary goal!

I'm all packed to go to Ukraine tomorrow with a great group, but I'm not ready at all! I suppose this is something that happens when one makes arbitrary goals. There were so many things left undone in Portland, partly (mostly) due to my own foolishness. I took a two-week trip back to Bulgaria within a month of my departure - as if I had on my list to say goodbye to my Bulgarian friends and family, when I should have spent that time with my American friends and family.

I went for my favorite Bulgarian holiday: Trifon Zarеzan. It's a day to celebrate wine. February 14th. The Bulgarians say you celebrate wine all day, and then celebrate love at night. Well, I just love everything about it.

But, I woke up that morning at 4 am unable to breathe! I wheeze-coughed a hole in the blockage for about 30 minutes until I could breathe normal again. Texted my sister with my symptoms when I had calmed down and she told me I had pneumonia and that I needed to go to the hospital. I waited for Iliyan to wake up cause I didn't know where the hospital was.

As we marched through the town square, the mayor was giving a speech. The gals were all dressed up in their traditional clothing. There was music playing. There were people dancing. Everyone was drinking wine. And we had to walk through all the action. I sunk. Got to the "emergency room" which was a concrete, drafty, cold cube. Waited there for 45 minutes before seeing the doctor. I had those 45 minutes to construct my sentences instead of mope about missing my favorite holiday so when I did get to see the doctor he was blown away by my Bulgarian.
"Your Bulgarian is really good!" he said (in Bulgarian).
"Thanks!" I responded, "yours is, too."
They all laughed.

He looked me over, listened to my parts, and concluded that my lungs were clear, I was not dying, I simply had laryngitis. He also told me that I wasn't contagious, that I could be around old people and infants - and that I could drink and celebrate the holiday! Well, hot damn!

I was pretty sure they wouldn't accept my Kaiser card for health insurance and I was really nervous about the cost of the office visit. I asked. The doctor looked at me, looked at Iliyan, looked back at me and told me not to worry about it. He then turned to Iliyan and said, "Have your mom bake me a cake."

With that, I was free to go enjoy the holiday! And I did.

The Peace Corps brings me so much happiness on so many different levels. Of course it's difficult and challenging at times, but so am I. And I'm pretty great!

There's nothing else like these experiences - and like the people I'm sure I'll meet. I'm quite ill-prepared for this trip. It's intimidating. My anxiety associated with this big, new chapter in the Words of Magnificence is through the roof! I think I know what I'm doing. I'm sure I'll get in there and start having fun - and this, too will be over far too quickly. Leaving me wanting more! I feel like I'm #winning at life, and I just can't get enough!