It's A Library in Bulgaria!

So I've been to the library for a week or two, and I think I've seen it all. In Peace Corps' arms, thinkin' I'll go far. Back home my type is rare. I dig ethnicky jazz and pop songs playing on a 2-bit radio. Now I know what it is to be cold, living next to the slums with so much soul!

Before I began working, I had a day of introduction. We walked into the library on December 9th, with its 25-foot high ceilings, and it was freezing! My counterpart apologized to me and told me that they'll start heating the place in January, but until then, wear a jacket. For the first week, every time I saw a thermometer outside it read -1, 0, or +1.

On my first work day at the Partenii Pavlovich Library, I attended an 8am meeting with all the staff. There are 24 employees here, but 8 of them were on vacation. My counterpart is just under the director as she manages all the departments of the library. At the meeting, I was asked to speak a little bit about myself after I was introduced as speaking phenomenal Bulgarian and an excellent resource for the library staff who want to practice their English (there have been two so far).

I started my normal goofball introduction in Bulgarian, saying that I am Andrew the Beautiful, eternal bachelor! It comes from a traditional Bulgarian song and usually people laugh their heads off when I say it. But this time it only cracked a few smiles and I felt like a jerk. My saving grace happened a moment later, after my spiel, when one lady asked me to sing the whole song at the library Christmas party!At the end of the day, I walked out of the library with my counterpart and the director to see the whole center lit up with Christmas lights! I said, "Look how beautiful it is!" and before they could respond, I continued, "Hey, I'm over here!" They got a great kick out of that! We walked 20 meters and my counterpart said, "Can you see how beautiful it is?" I responded with, "Yes. I have a mirror." Ha! Oh man! They kept calling me a sweetheart. I think they don't have a word for cornball, but I love that they appreciate my sense of humor!

My counterpart has been insanely helpful in making sure I'm comfortable in the community. She goes so far out of her way to make sure I'm happy that I feel bad not being able to reciprocate, although I'm trying the best I can. She told me, unofficially, that we're going to start working 7-hour days because it's too cold to be here for 8 hours. =) I was complaining about how cold my apartment was and so the director said she'd lend me one of her blankets! Super nice! She even tried to hail a cab for me so I wouldn't have to walk all the way home under the burden of a 3-pound blanket! I took the opportunity to tell her to relax because I'm a strong man!

Half way through my first week, there was some kind of children's event in our big hall. They came for a presentation about Christmas, more or less. But since I'm such a hot item, the gal running the show asked me if I would be part of the introduction and say a few words. No problem I thought. Well, actually, there's a very big problem. Once in a while, I encounter a Bulgarian that I simply can not understand. It's not a matter of them speaking too quickly or not slow enough. I simply can't understand them. Either how they speak, or the words they choose to use. Nothing works. Unfortunately, I couldn't understand a word she was saying. But I feel bad about it so I always say that I do understand and hope my genius level I.Q. will figure it out before it's too late. Well, that didn't happen this time. All of a sudden, I was standing in front of about 30 kids, and welcoming them to a presentation that I didn't understand. I was supposed to talk about myself and my counterpart was nearby to say, "tell them how you celebrate Christmas." Alright! A starting point! I said, "We celebrate Christmas by eating dinner with our families." That's it. Crap. When I realized how lame that sounded I tried to recover but just dug myself a deeper hole. Humor didn't save me this time.

Later, I was invited to a Christmas recital in the same hall and as i entered there was one gal singing as people took their seats. She had the most beautiful voice! As she started another song her voice cracked, and she paused before trying again. It cracked again and she stepped off stage to ask her teacher who was playing the piano if she could step down. Then she walked to her seat with tears streaming down her cheeks. =) The recital officially opened up with what seemed to be a 4 year old and a 6 year old singing their heads off! They were really belting it out and it was sooo cute!

Our library hosts so many events and I seem to be paraded around to them all as if I had a hand in them. Really, I think they want to show me off. I enjoy being a novelty, to a point. I get invited to this or that and then show up to loads of curiosity, which I also enjoy, but then I'm asked to say a few words. It's a reasonable request - I just seem to get stage fright every time! They ask me to say something at the last minute and I usually don't know what's going on. The shock of the moment usually leads to me speaking crap Bulgarian and not saying anything at all aside from, "Uhhhh". I lose all my vocabulary and then I get more nervous and I spiral out of control!

I was invited to another event. I thought, as I always do, that I would be going to watch something. It was a typical traditional Bulgarian event that I've never seen before. Kids decorate sticks so that they may hit each other on the back on New Year's. I guess the belief is that it brings them good health. I don't see the connection, but I don't think anyone would be too surprised to learn that I don't understand everything. So I arrive to this event, expecting to see kids running around and hitting each other with sticks. I prepared myself for a good beating cause I'm the novelty foreigner and I'm sure the kids would want me to have good health in the new year. Turns out, they were just decorating at this event and I was invited to decorate a stick, too. Looking around, the whole scene reminded me of Charlie Brown's Christmas!
Of course, these kids weren't decorating Christmas trees, but Christmas whipping sticks! They have a Bulgarian name, but I don't think it translates.Anyway, I was having all kinds of fun tying different random things to my stick in "decoration" when all of a sudden, the organizer gal asks me to say a few words in Bulgarian and thrusts a microphone in my face!Well, because of my previous failings I have worked out an outline of a few things to talk about when someone says, "here, talk about yourself." I gave my spiel and I could hear people talking about how well I speak Bulgarian. I felt damn good about myself! And on top of the giddiness from the Charlie Brown Christmas Stick Whacking, I was on Cloud 9! Then, all of a sudden, there was a reporter from one of the national news agencies with a microphone in my face, asking me questions about this particular holiday. Between the chaos of the screaming kids, the overly-loud kids music in the background, and having to listen to more than just, "talk about yourself", I was stumped! "Do you celebrate New Year's like this or similarly where you're from?" she asks. "Uhhhh", I respond, "Well, we celebrate, but we don't use sticks, we use beer and champaign." In hindsight, that probably wasn't the ideal answer at a children's event. But it's sorta true. What kind of kid activities are there at New Year's in the U.S.? Fireworks? Anyway, the interview went on and I continued to fail to impress. When it was over, I sat down, almost exhausted, and explained to my counterpart that I like talking to people, but it's hard for me when I can't prepare. She stopped me to introduce me to so and so, from the regional news for another interview. And unfortunately, this was another lady that for the life of me, I could just not understand. I tried to salvage my dignity when she pointed to my stick and either asked me, "How beautiful is that?!" or "How beautiful are you going to make that?" and I interrupted to say - "I'm always beautiful!" Haha! Ya know, if no one else is making you laugh, sometimes you just gotta make yourself laugh!

Near the end, the deputy mayor presented me with an award and I whacked her with my stick and told her happy new year. And finally, we danced.As I left the crowded hall, I asked a guy to get out of my way. He turned around, stuck out his hand to shake, and said to me, "You are cool!" Awesome!

I'm Dreaming Of A White Silistra!

It's really cold here! And Bulgarian pens suck. They never work. How can that be? Okay, they work for a short sentence or two - maybe one long sentence, but then they crap out. If you let them sit for 15 minutes you can get another sentence out of them.

I woke up to about 3 inches of snow this morning and a long trek to work. Five miles. Uphill both ways. =) On my walk I noticed some things. There was no less traffic today than there was yesterday. No one was using chains, nor did I hear studs the day before on the hard pavement. There are very few SUVS and 4-wheel drives. Wanna know how many accidents I saw? None. Take note, Portland, people drive like idiots here, too, but they manage to do so without wrecking.

I bought a pair of old socks from a second hand store for $5/lb. They are the length of my leg and nice and heavy! So I wore them to work today but my legs itched all day long and I probably won't wear them again...

Sili Sili Sili Sili Sili Silistra!

I arrived to my new town in the afternoon, to sunshine and smiles! It was probably about 70 degrees. The next morning, it was snowing, and my colleagues told me to expect about a meter of snow at the peak of winter! Eek!I live in a cold, barely occupied, communist-built, concrete structure. The tall one on the far right. It has 12 stories and 4 elevators, but only one that works. I live on the edge of the city, overlooking the center. My "block" is right next to a "slum" of sorts. It's basically where the minority groups live. The two other Volunteers in town said they were warned to never go there, especially after dark! I think that's more indicative of a lack of social awareness than anything else. I don't find it too scary. On the other side of my block is a Kaufland, which I guess, is Germany's version of Walmart. It has everything I could possibly need - and I find it amusing that it opened 4 months ago, in what a statistician would call, a dying town. Silistra's population peaked (around 70,000) around the time communism fell. Now, it's about 20,000. People between the ages of 18 and 35 usually go to a bigger city or somewhere else in Europe to look for jobs. This trend is becoming more and more common in smaller sized cities. It's an odd feeling to be walking around the city around dinner time and count how many apartments have lights on. I'd hazard a guess at around 10-15%. But I'm not supposed to be outside after dark so shh.

I have mixed feelings about my apartment. It's a one-bedroom apartment and the rent is roughly $100 a month. I think that's overpriced, especially considering selection potential. In fact, I met a guy whose girlfriend is trying to rent her three-bedroom apartment, which is much closer to the center, for two-thirds that price. Oh well. Its concrete floors are covered with random bits and pieces of scrap carpet, linoleum, and newspaper. None of it is cut to fit the rooms well, but I suppose it's more comfortable than the concrete.My "bedroom" came with two pullout couches for beds, two heaters, a table, and a chair. The landlord told me not to use the big heater because it's expensive, but assured me that it worked. Later, when I was freezing, I decided to plug it in anyway (electricity is cheaper at night) only to find that the power cord had been severed and there's no extra outlet for it anyway.

I pulled out one of the couches to make my bed and found hairs, stains, and food on the mattress. Gross. I put that one away and pulled out the other to find less of the same, but still the same, nonetheless. After the second night of extreme discomfort, I sprung for a mattress. I bought a big sheet of super firm foam for about $50. It's the exact same thing I bought back home and used for the bed I made last year except back home it cost $300! I had to move the two couches around a bit so my new mattress would fit; and once I moved them into appropriate lighting, I could see dust clouds rising off of them with the slightest touch.My kitchen came complete with a tiny oven and a moldy, sticky refrigerator that I can't stop from freezing my milk, yogurt, steak, and eggs! I have a small table with two chairs and a rack on which to set some cooking supplies. It feels like my kitchen has everything but the kitchen sink. In fact, my kitchen doesn't have a sink. But there's a closet between the kitchen and the bathroom with a sink in it - so I can wash my dishes in the closet. =) Also in the closet is a washing machine. The landlord says it works, but I've looked everywhere and can't find an outlet in the closet. Go figure.My bathroom is pretty standard. There's a sink, a toilet, and a shower. I kinda like it. I was really glad to find out that the toilet seat doesn't get wet when I take a shower! The one drawback is the really old water heater. It didn't work the first day, and so I had to take a cold shower on a cold morning. But it's worked since! Fingers crossed!

Overall, the apartment is gross. Really gross. But, my landlord is super, super nice. He assures me, almost daily, that if I ever have a problem, he'll figure it out. He has supplied me with a dust sucker (vacuum), a rock-hard mop, a wet rag, and lots of really warm smiles! I really like him and his family. They've already had me over four times for food and drinks, and I haven't even been here a full week! After I've had some time to clean, everything will be right!Again on the positive side of things, this is the view from my apartment - on the 8th floor. And, I have internet - faster than any internet I've ever had in the states! The town is pretty neat. It's in the far northeast corner of Bulgaria, bordered by the Danube river and Romania. They tell me this is the world's oldest mosque (built over 500 years ago), but I think Google disagrees. There is a super cute city center, and it looks to me so far, like it has a very active sense of community.There's an interesting mix of Romanian and Bulgarian architecture, with bits of Roman ruins strewn around here and there. The population is pretty diverse, too, being Bulgarian, Turkish, Roma, Romanian, and me!Trying to continue my enjoyment of fitness, I found a gym in my town! It's in the basement of a community center built ages ago. It's dirty and there are pictures of hot chicks taken from magazines and taped to the the walls. The equipment is greasy and squeaky, there is rust on my hands after I touch anything, and pop music blares from a tiny radio in the corner. It's perfect! I made a friend the first day I went, too. He's huge, but struck me as kind and gentle so I think I'll probably enjoy his friendship.This is more or less the "entrance" - as you no doubt can tell.

I'm finding the people to be similar to how I found them the last time I was in Bulgaria, which really reinforces how good of an observer I really am. Pretty much all of the older people I've been meeting with here are sweet, kind, endearing, and fun. It's kind of confusing to hear that their life expectancy is so low - 69 for men, and 76 for women. I haven't broken into the younger crowd yet, but looking on from the outside, I can see they're full of life.

My colleagues seem to be fantastic people. My counterpart took me around town and gave me a tour, along with the director of the library. On the tour, we stopped for lunch at their favorite place. As we sat down, I put my bag on the ground and the director began with her disapproval. She told me I can't put my bag on the ground because I'll end up with NO money! I told her to relax – I've got a fish scale in my wallet! But she wasn't having it. She insisted I set it on the chair next to me. And so I did. It feels so great to have people looking out for me. I'll write more about them when I know them better.This really made me laugh! Don't know if you can see it, but the salt choice on the left (in green) is labeled "Light" and it advertises that its contents have 51% less salt! Click on the picture to make it bigger. The salt on the right is produced by a company called "Mercury Foods"! Haha!Make sure and bring your cup of corn the next time you sit down to read about my project here at the library. Comes in three different sizes with your choice of oil, salt, soy sauce, seasoning salt, curry, red pepper, hot sauce, Mexican spices, mayonnaise, caramel, and/or honey! Mmm!

I'm Back! I'm Back In Bulgaria Again!

It was a long, long trip to Bulgaria and when I arrived, there was no one there to meet me. I looked all around, walked here and there, but there was no one waiting for me! I decided to sit down and dink around on the internet for a while before I decided to panic. I looked up occasionally and scanned the people who were meeting fresh arrivals. Finally, I saw my ride. A guy holding the Peace Corps logo and a gal I recognized as one of the program staff. I welcomed them to the airport and told them I had been waiting an hour. They in turn said they had also been waiting an hour. Ha! My ass!

They roughly explained how things would go over my 4 days of orientation and then dropped me off at my hotel. It was 14:30 and I was exhausted! But I had to stay up till the end of the day to beat the jet lag. I started unpacking my bags a bit so I could get cleaned up when all of a sudden I got hit with an unexpected emotion that begged the question: What the hell am I doing??? Haha! I left a job and a home to go gallivanting around again! Well, that emotion died when I remembered that I love to gallivant, and that was that.

I decided to kill time by walking around to familiarize myself with the area and maybe see if I could get a SIM card for my phone. Plus, I was starving. As you can see, going for a walk on the side streets is literally a walk on the street as drivers use the sidewalks for parking.
I used this first meal to christen my new diet with a doner kebab! Oh man! And right across the street from the kebab shop was a phone shop! I chatted my brains out at each store and the people responded with a very genuine curiosity. It was a neat feeling. In fact, my language is really coming back fast! I was a bit worried at first, but I've had some really nice conversations with some really nice people so far! Obviously, I've forgotten some things, but they'll come back.Things Bulgarian started standing out on my walk. Even with my olfactory fatigue, I could smell the distinct smell of Bulgaria. And it all came rushing back. I heard car alarms, barking dogs, the landlady yelling, people having sex. I saw crumbling sidewalks and buildings, litter, potholes, puddles of who knows what – and in the mix of all this life and chaos, though it may seem contradictory, there's an obvious simplicity to the lifestyle here. Although the cars speed by, these peoples' hurry isn't to keep up with the Joneses. I find that they live to meet their needs today rather than focus on making sure their needs are met tomorrow. Which way is better? Is one actually better? Ensuring that you have stability and security in the future is a good thing – but there is a price that is paid for it. For me, that price comes in the form of worrying, working too hard, and stress. If one were to choose to focus on meeting the needs of today, the insurance of meeting tomorrow's needs may not be there, but the worrying and stress would be drastically reduced as well. I wonder how to quantify that to see if it's worth it? I'm not saying they neglect the future, they simply don't seem to be constantly preoccupied with it. While I may be generalizing a bit, it's also possible that my observation isn't exact in its accuracy... but that's not likely.This picture made me laugh. I wanted to capture the environmental efforts of Sofia and this guy came up and took a box from the bin. In fact, reuse is better than recycling so bravo, Bulgarian!

I met with a Peace Corps doctor for my medical orientation. The acting doctor was a visiting doctor from Peace Corps Kazakhstan. He had a 30-year career as a doctor in the Soviet Union Army and he's spending his retirement as a doctor in the United States Peace Corps! I love the contrast! As you can imagine, he was a pretty interesting guy. Stone cold serious, but yielding to emotion for a smile now and again. He'd be fun to get to know, but he's leaving in a few days.

On Monday, I went to lunch with a lady from the office and she took me to a nearby restaurant. It was Nikolov den (Nick/Nicole's Day), a holiday on which you are supposed to eat fish so I ordered the fish soup. She told me that if I find a fish scale in my soup, I have to take it out and put it in my wallet. And I should leave it there for one year until next year's holiday. Does this contradict my observations about living for today? No. Anyway, I thought I had dodged a bullet by not finding one, but the next day she brought in some scales and let me choose one. She insisted that I put it in my wallet and stressed that if I didn't, I would have NO MONEY for the whole year! At least I can be sure that no one will want to take my wallet now.

Today I swore in and am officially a Peace Corps Response Volunteer! Woo! Tomorrow, I will get a ride to my new town of Silistra. It should be a 6-hour drive if all goes well. I really lucked out in getting a ride - when I was a volunteer the first time around, we all had to get to our sites on our own. Silistra would be a long trek using trains and buses, not to mention a super hassle with all my luggage. Anyway, I'll have a story and a picture from there in a while.

Going Down The Only Road I've Ever Loved!

Here I go again! On my own! I've tried for a year and a half to “settle down” after returning to the USA from graduate school and it's all been a colossal failure! Sure, I've had some fun here and there, but on the whole, I'm not satisfied with how things are going. I've given up on forcing myself into something I'm obviously not ready for and have taken back the reigns of my life! Now I'm ready for a ride! Yeee haaawww!

On Saturday, December 4th, I'll be departing for Bulgaria for another stint with the United States Peace Corps! Words to remember: When you find something you love, stick with it! This time around, I'll be serving for only 3.5 months in a program called Peace Corps Response, which was set up to allow former Volunteers to serve again to implement a meaningful project in a brief period of time. It's kind of a nice, new benefit that the Peace Corps offers instead of only having the one option of a 27-month commitment. I applied specifically for Bulgaria because, let's face it, I love it! However, I suppose I could have picked a different country, had my language skills and experience all aligned appropriately. Maybe next time.

The assignment for which I applied had a description that is slightly different than the job description I have most recently received. I'm not too surprised, already knowing Bulgaria, the Peace Corps, and that flexibility is a huge part of being able to succeed. In fact, I expect that I won't know exactly what I will be doing until I get to my new post and assess their needs and what is actually accomplishable. I'll be working for the regional library in Silistra, which is in the northeast of the country – near Varna, where I served previously. Near as I can tell, I'll be doing something along the lines of energy efficiency consulting and teaching how to live sustainably. Sounds perfect!

I was originally supposed to leave on November 15th, but due to delays at the Bulgarian embassy in processing my visa, my departure has been postponed a few times. It's been frustrating to organize everything involved with putting my life on hold and then changing it again and again. But in any case, the time has come, and I'm ready to go! It's gonna be a fun opportunity, a resume builder, a chance to exercise some old skills, and when it's all over, I get to return to my job at Metro!

I've got a roughly 21-hour trip, with two transfers, before I get to Bulgaria. Then, I believe that I'll be in the capital city, Sofia, for a four-day orientation followed by a long train/bus ride to my new town! Woo woo!!! I'll try to be consistent in posting news about my new adventure!

Peace Corps Reponse!

Peace Corps Response provides opportunities for returned Peace Corps Volunteers to undertake short-term, high impact assignments in various programs around the world.

I came back to Bulgaria to volunteer at a regional library; to design a long-term program that enhanced library involvement in sustainable community dynamics, focusing on environmentally friendly practices for libraries and beyond.

Getting Ready to Leave the USA!
Back in Bulgaria!
My Site: Silistra!
My Host: Silistra Regional Library!
Library Christmast Party!
Christmas in Bulgaria!
Drinking in Bulgaria!
Anti-Disposable Plastic Campaign!
Getting Married on Wine Day!
My Projects!
Essay Contest!
Fun Stories from Bulgaria!

I'm So Vain, You Can Bet This Blog Is About Me!

Alright! I’ve been home for a year now! Is it still everything I had hoped it would be? Well, not exactly. I should have been prepared for that, though, as I’ve already learned the lesson in life of not having flexible expectations. Sure enough, forgetting lessons of the past dooms a person to repeat them. So here I am – learning again!

As a result of some unfortunate travel difficulties on my last great adventure, I became disillusioned with the developing world. A few frustrating and reoccurring situations set me up for an intense yearning to go home. I grew tired of people telling me that a draft could make me sick, ruin my joints, and even cause cancer. I became aggravated at hearing people complain about their situations, only to forfeit any possible effort toward betterment – even before an attempt. And sadly, I ended up intolerant over what I considered a general disregard for environment and community.

I was homesick in a bad way, and really focused on such negative aspects of the societies in which I found myself. Of course, hindsight gives me a better perspective and I can now see that I was my own biggest problem. The negative opinions I had formed were due to my homesickness and lost sight of overall understanding, regardless of how accurate my opinions might have been in their specific instances.

I came home to clean air, food and water that didn’t make me sick, paved roads, organization, logic, and ambition. It was the reward I’d been seeking, but it was only superficial and didn’t last. I was so certain that coming home would bring me happiness, yet after the “honeymoon phase” it managed to remain elusive. I was dumbfounded. It was the single greatest thing I learned during my Peace Corps service: how to be happy – and somehow, it was gone.

I walked the path I thought I ought to follow: get a job, work hard, go out, have fun – but I found myself unfulfilled, and as a result, unhappy. I didn’t understand, and my misunderstanding was directly related to my expectations.

I expected that I would have tons of friends in Portland. In fact, my old friends have all moved on with their lives and are mostly not around. Most of my friends live in other cities and other countries, far away. I expected real and significant bonds with my coworkers. In fact, I don’t fit in at work. I feel tolerated by my coworkers more than I feel respected or liked. I think that’s mostly due to differences in ages, places in life – and that most everyone is overqualified for our job and upset that they’re not achieving their potential. I get the feeling that they’re miserable and my positive nature comes off as abrasive. Nevertheless, when I hear things like, “Andrew, I don’t want to hang out with you after work because I see you enough at work” my feelings are a little hurt.

Since I wasn’t finding joy at work, I put a lot of energy into my life after work. I went out with one or two friends a lot, I dated aggressively, and I found some fun volunteer activities that resembled work experiences with nice people. Well, going out a lot left me run down; all the dating left me disappointed; and the volunteer work was always short lived. In short, my hole was not being filled. I embraced exercise and began running and set a goal to gain weight, which required lots of lifting! And I loved it! There aren’t too many things that can make a person feel so good! My body developed and it was awesome! Unfortunately, being really, really, really good looking isn’t everything. I started toying with some job applications to further my career as I’ve written about in the past, but again, disappointment. I guess with this amount of unemployed people in Portland, the candidate pool is incredibly qualified! Not that I’m not, but in fact, I’m not… I mean, I have all kinds of education and I’m pretty to boot, but I haven’t really worked with conservation or natural resources in the capacity of the jobs for which I’m seeking. My real experience is in other areas. Through some random brainstorming, I came up with a better plan.

I’m going to look for jobs outside the environmental field for a while. I won’t neglect environmental jobs by any means, but I will open myself up to possibilities that I have ignored in the past. I’ll open myself up to the world and I’m excited to see what kind of new experiences I will find!

I realize that I opened this story with a bit about how wonderful it was to be back in the states. It turns out that I haven’t been cured of this travel bug just yet. Recently, I had an experience that brought all the happiness and positivity I sought back to me! My friends from Costa Rica, Oscar and Veronica, got married in Spain and asked me to be their photographer! I took some time off work and unexpectedly rediscovered what I had already learned in the Peace Corps. Surrounding one’s self with good people – people who genuinely care for you and enjoy you; and who are sincere themselves is exactly my recipe for happiness! Some folks might say I’m wrong, and that “you have to be happy with yourself first” blah, blah, blah. Okay, there’s some merit to that, but I already love myself! I’m awesome! It's just that I slipped up in recognizing who these crucial people are; but my reminder from the love in Spain was solid and profound. With a recipe for love and smiles, I don't need expectations. I only need to maintain awareness, or read the recipe once in a while to keep it fresh in my mind! Like all species on the planet, I just need the right conditions in order to thrive! I now remember what those conditions are; and since it’s now in print – I won’t forget again!

Sustainability. Are We Really Sustainabilitized? Yes or No? Who Are We to Judge?

I've been enjoying my job since I got home. It was a bit of a blow to my ego to go back to the same job I had before I built myself stronger with the Peace Corps, world travel, and a master's degree... but it's a rough job market right now, and I was happy to accept the first thing available. But since July, I've been able to explore this position with new perspectives than I previously had. I work in the same position, but at a different facility, and here, I am afforded much more responsibility and opportunity for growth. I really lucked out - one, to have a job; and two, I am doing really great work to ensure responsible environmental practices! This job is becoming less like a stepping stone and more like a sling shot as I become more ingrained in what I'm doing.

I recently had what I considered a grand opportunity to listen in on a conference call at work. The conference was organized and facilitated by Oregon State's Sustainability Coordinator within the Department of Administrative Services. The purpose was to gather Oregon's state agency sustainability coordinators and staff to talk about their implementation of Green Teams in an effort to become more sustainable.

I was extremely excited to participate in such an event because these are the types of jobs I want to end up doing; and to be able to hear what these people are doing in these positions was sure to be exciting and inspirational! I couldn't wait to get insight into what I should prepare for!

There were 20 to 30 people in attendance and 20 to 30 people on the phone (including myself). The first speaker was from the Department of Administrative Services Executive Building. Kinda the same as the facilitator, but still great!

After introductions, the first speaker led with her most proud Green Team project: a green Thanksgiving potluck, which promoted waste reduction. Promoting waste reduction during an event that traditionalizes heavy consuming seemed quite odd. But, perhaps there was something I wasn't seeing. Something that would illuminate great possibilities that I had never before considered! Nope. She explained that the theme was a BYOD (Bring Your Own Dishes) potluck, and that was pretty much the extent of the projects her Green Team initiated... There were details of assembling a mess kit, and even selling mess kits as a fundraiser - but that seemed to defeat the purpose of bringing your own dishes...

The second speaker was from the Department of Justice! Surely she would have something groundbreaking to present! She began by telling about how she had assembled a team of attorneys to ensure that their department would be the greenest in Oregon! Great! So what did her green attorneys come up with? Well, concepts like recycling and reduction, of course! She said they put recycling containers in offices that had none, and programmed their copiers to print double sided! Look out, Planet! You're about to be saved! Okay, that was a bit sarcastic. She did continue to say that they also created a sustainability webpage on their intranet! Woo woo!

The third speaker was from the Portland State Office Building. This was, by far, the most thorough presentation. He told stories of how his Green Team had four successful projects! 1) After hours, they did a sweep of the building to turn off lights that people had forgotten. 2) They initiated a "Take The Stairs" campaign. 3) They began a composting service in the cafeteria. 4) They ran floor by floor competition to see who could save the most energy! Wow!

The final speaker was from the Oregon State Library. He spoke disheveledly about his projects, but clearly mentioned that one of them was asking management for a refrigerator that was Energy Star compliant to be put on a floor that had no refrigerator to begin with. Not sure how that actually reduces energy consumption. He went on to add that his Green Team sends email reminders to educate the staff about the importance of recycling. The most effective thing that I thought he presented was a project about early morning audits to see who wasn't turning off lights and equipment the night before. Repeat offenders had their budgets penalized!

Maybe I'm just an idealist, recent grad school graduate, but I couldn't believe what I had heard from whom I considered sustainability leaders! Their focus was on green issues, which is roughly a third of what 'sustainability' encapsulates, and their green efforts were virtually worthless! Are you kidding me?! Recycling and reduction?! Turning off lights that people forgot to turn off?!?! These are concepts that were common knowledge in the 1980s, more than 20 years ago!!! Why are 'green leaders' able to tout that they're jumping on the 1980s bandwagon??? I mean, this is the Oregon government! If they wanted to make real environmental impacts, they could pass laws that limit driving, increase fuel efficiency, prohibit sales/use of toxic garden chemicals, establish high end mandatory recycling standards, etc. The possibilities are so great - and these folks were focused on such small potatoes. I am in utter disbelief that the projects mentioned were new projects! These people really had no clue. It was so preposterous that it felt like a political science major was trying to teach chemistry.

It's crucial that the sustainability movement be comprised of efforts from public, private, and nonprofit sectors - and if this is all government has to offer for effort, maybe we should continue investing in oceanfront property in Arizona.

I've heard politicians and CEOs talk about sustainability, and I'm usually pretty unimpressed at the fact that none of them seem to know what they're talking about. They simply throw around a few key words and hope people give them "green points" of approval. This is unacceptable!

I would hate for the term 'sustainability' to become the new 'recycling'. Do you even know how things are recycled? We hear every day that it is such a good thing, but do we hear about all the noxious chemicals that are released from the processes? Are you aware of how much energy is consumed through current recycling technology? The concept of recycling has become a 'feel good' project. Something everyone can do to participate in saving the world. Something so trivial that even if everyone did it, it still wouldn't matter! Environmental issues are far more complex than recycling can handle, yet we're taught that if we all recycle, we'll all be saved. Poppycock! This new eco-term, sustainability, is a term that I haven't heard anyone use correctly in a while, and it's being thrown around like everyone understands it. The danger with this is that the people who don't understand it will convince other people who don't understand it to think that they understand it. Confusing? Just ask yourself how well you understand recycling! The world needs effective action, not catchphrases or feel-good propaganda. I can certainly see the importance of streamlining green practices, but when sustainability is the focus, socio-political and economic aspects are equally as important as green! This is the key mistake I see people making: Spending $3,000 on a solar power system that charges two 50-pound lead-acid batteries, which provide energy to run 4 100-Watt bulbs is a stupid idea, for example. Yes, solar power is great; but this is not a responsible use of its potential.

After I expressed my disappointment to a coworker, he said, "You know, the only thing to come out of meetings is plans for the next meeting." How unfortunately true that was today...

I am still aiming to acquire a position as a sustainability coordinator, but I'll be damned if all I do is implement paper recycling projects! Mike Tidwell wrote an interesting article, To Save the Planet, Stop Going Green, that emphasizes society's dwelling on meaningless, feel good efforts to save the world. It may be that peoples' hearts are in the right place - we just need their efforts to be practically aligned with what really has potential for effectiveness! Perhaps instead of me being slingshot into a new position, I need to be slingshotting new positions into something useful!

America! Fuck yeah!

Oh man! Clean air! Clean water! Uncrumbly buildings! Holeless roads! Speeding tickets! And preservative-filled foods!!! Mmmm, chemicals! For those of you who think I've overstated the significance of these luxuries - you have no idea how most of the rest of the world lives!

Some of the highlights I've experienced over the last couple weeks: cheddar cheese, bacon, more than one flavor of wine, 24-hour stores, cheap crap that I probably don't need, organization, friendliness, logic, friends, and family! I can't tell you how amazing these things are! You can't appreciate these things without having lived without them! Or maybe you can, but I couldn't. And now that I'm back, I can't stress enough how amazing it is here!

Okay, there's an economic crisis... Okay, there's super high unemployment rates... But people in this country are still so much better off than most people in the rest of the world. In this case, "better off" means a healthier life and a society with far more opportunity - even despite the hardships people are experiencing and hearing about in the news.

I've seen people work their asses off, breaking their backs day in and day out for less than minimum wage. Their standard of life is much lower than anything that we would settle for, yet they maintain a happiness the likes of which is nearly unseen here in the US. These occurrences were real, but didn't happen as often as one might like to think. In fact, most people had nothing, did nothing, and complained about not having anything. Their stories are far more complex than I'm illustrating, of course. But it's hard to feel pity for someone that won't work in order to benefit themselves.

My explanation is that they don't work hard to benefit themselves because they can't. Not that they're not physically or mentally capable; they are. They simply don't have the opportunity. And that is what makes the USA so amazing: Opportunity! A hardworking person can create any kind of opportunity for themselves here: jobs, internships, fellowships, companies, relationships, anything! It just takes dedication and discipline! There are minimal governmental and sometimes societal hang-ups, but in the end, if you have a dream - you are allowed to chase it, and if you do, there is a reasonable chance that you will achieve it!

It's something completely overlooked by most of my friends who like I, took everything for granted.

Now, I know what you're thinking, "Andrew, I've been to Paris. I've been to Rome. I've been to London. I've been to Phnom Penh. And I love those places!" Okay, fine, that's great. They all have wonderful things about them! But try being away from what you think is "normal" for four years! There is no place like the United States of America!

How's that for a "reverse culture shock"? Complete joy in just being a part of here! It's the same feeling I had when I first traveled: The shock and amazement of something new! Now I'm experiencing the shock and amazement of something I never quite recognized or appreciated!

I'm currently living in Portland, Oregon, in the "Nob Hill" part of town - the trendy and happening place that is always filled with something to do. I have a beautiful two-bedroom apartment in the middle of everything, and it is less than five miles away from where I work! I've been able to reintegrate with my friends and family easily enough, as well as with work and some local community events! Summer was a perfect time to come home, though I suspect there will be community activities and friends and family all year long! One of the best things I've got going, outside of friends and family, is a running club with Nike at the Niketown in downtown Portland. We run every Monday and Wednesday and I'm meeting all kinds of wonderful people! It's great! In addition to that, I've included a few pictures of home as I know it.

FriendsWork

Star Trek in the Park
Hottest Day of the Year Ride

I'll close on a note that will hopefully lead to some thoughts and discussion. I've just ranted and raved about how wonderful my home is, but it is not without fault. There are many bad things about this place. Things that desperately need improving. Take, for example, the following picture that illustrates America's culture of fear and over-carefulness of things. During the "Hottest Day of the Year Ride" there were several rest stations set up before the grand finale of the "World's Largest Squirt Gun Fight". On one particular rest station, the organizers built "Oregon's longest Slip and Slide" and most people were loving it. They would get a running start and dive onto cheap plastic to slide down the wetness. Well, occasionally someone would dive too late, ie - they were still running when they got to the plastic. That was the case for our victim, a young boy that I've endearingly named Nancy. Before he was able to dive, he lost is footing and fell on his ass. It looked like he may have hit his head, but not hard. It was on a grass area, anyway. His mother saw the whole terror unfold and as the announcer stopped the slip and slide to come running to the boy's aid, his mother had already assumed a Doctor Mom role. Before anyone could say, "Hey, he's a little kid and he fell down. That's what they do. He'll be fine.", a medic came rushing over and dawned latex gloves to examine the child. He was given an ice pack, some water, and a chair on which to "recover" from his terrible spill.
Perhaps from flying Super Biker in the background you'd think this was an adult event... Well, the next picture puts that theory to shame.My observation, disgust, and question is: When did parenting (and society) get so weak? What happened to the bootstrap mentality that gave people admirable character and skills to conquer adverse odds? Why wasn't this kid told, "You're okay, Nancy. Get up and get back in line so you can do it right next time."?

I understand the desire to protect, especially those close to you. But there is a line between protection and overprotection. One obviously keeps a person safe, while the other conditions a person for weakness and never knowing how to deal with pain or defeat. Okay, so I'm not a parent and don't fully know how "it is", but I can kind of see how "it will be" if kids are babied during their prime developmental periods: They'll expect to be babied forever! So dear Reader, what says you?

On a side note, I shot Nancy and his mother at the end of the ride with a squirt gun.

Homeward Bound!!!

I'm writing this blog with great enthusiasm, for it represents a closing on this chapter of my life. My time at the United Nations University for Peace in Costa Rica is finally at an end! To celebrate this momentous occasion, I left the country with a gargantuan smile on my face! I guess it wasn't actually gargantuan, I just wanted to use that word. In reality, my face looked confused and extremely, extremely tired.

I don't think there's been much secret in my writing nor my stories that I was not overly impressed with Costa Rica. In fact, I wasn't impressed at all. Some would even say that I downright didn't like it (I would be one of those who made such a claim). I do feel some kind of obligation to disclaim that I arrived to Costa Rica already bitter. I was bitter about two major issues: spending one more year in another developing country, and being away from my friends and family for one more year. With that perspective, I openly admit that it would have been pretty hard for anyone to walk away from this experience saying, "Gee wiz, Costa Rica and UPeace are great!" This may explain my cynicism and negative outlook on a lot of my writings.

It wasn't all bad, though. I met some amazing people from everywhere in the world. I encountered moments of intense mental stimulation and new ideas, something for which graduate school is renowned. I saw some interesting things and places and had some very entertaining adventures. Probably the most significant thing was finally getting the chance to date my dream girl.I met Becca in a hostel in 2002 in Switzerland, and I had a crush on her immediately. She was the first girl with whom I had ever made a first move. She "tripped" as I tried to kiss her on a star-lit walk through a Swiss mountain village so I decided to try again. She tripped again, of course, before I realized she wasn't tripping... Oh well. Got her email in the morning and then left town. We stayed in e-contact for a while, during which time I found out she had had a boyfriend while we were in Switzerland.

In the summer of 2004 she sent me an email saying she was coming to Seattle for a job training and invited me to dinner with her (she thought I lived in Seattle). I said I lived in Portland, but I would be happy to make the drive (3 hours) to have dinner with her. Fully expecting that she still had a boyfriend, I didn't make a move. I also didn't make a move because I was shy as hell. We had such an amazing time together that at the end of the night, she invited me to stay. I told her I couldn't because I had to work in the morning. She asked if she could give me a kiss goodnight and I thought it was the most amazing thing in the world! Her version of this story was that I didn't kiss her back... But she was only the second girl I'd ever kissed; I didn't know what the hell I was doing.

After driving home for 30 minutes I realized how much of a dumbass I was, and called her to tell her I would ditch work the following day and come back up. It never happened, but she invited me to Arizona where she was to work for the season. I found out that she didn't have a boyfriend when we were in Seattle so I got my act together and met her in Phoenix just before Christmas, 2004. I went down there with such high expectations and it ended up being the most awkward, uncomfortable, embarrassing experience in the world. I flirted my brains out with her and she wasn't the least bit receptive. Turns out, she got back together with her boyfriend over Thanksgiving and forgot to inform me.

Bummed, I put her out of my head until fall of 2006. She sent me an email saying she was single and had just got a new job and wanted to come see me in Bulgaria during my Peace Corps service for Christmas and New Years. I was stoked out of my mind! I started building up expectations again and getting incredibly excited! A week before she was going to buy her ticket, she got fired and couldn't afford the trip. Denied!

Almost another year went by before I heard from her again. I had just finished my Peace Corps service and was zigzagging north through Eastern Europe to Moscow. In the fall of 2007, she said she needed a European vacation to sort some things out, and asked if she could meet me somewhere. I told her, "Sure, meet me in Lithuania." completely expecting to be blown off. To my surprise and delight, she sold her jeep and bought a ticket to Latvia. Close enough. Five years of sporadic emails, missed chances, and unfortunate circumstances had passed before I finally told her I'd had a crush on her since we first met. We traveled together for only three weeks, but our time together was super intense and we clicked hard!During our time together in Eastern Europe, she reciprocated my feelings and gave me grand hope for a future together, but as she had a boyfriend at this time, she ended up breaking my heart and going back to him.

I moved on, but somehow we ended up at the same university, even in the same program! It took quite a bit of effort on her part, but at long last she convinced me, and at the end of 2008 we began a relationship. We had some amazing times together - times that will forever put a smile on my face when I think of them. Tragically, our eternal curse of bad timing seems to have shown its ugly, yet consistent, face once again and our relationship ended along with our time in Costa Rica. Nevertheless, she's a super special gal, and I'm glad to have had the opportunity to be with her while I was with her.The academic part of my year in Costa Rica peaked just as it was ending. My favorite scholarly moment occurred during my last class when we learned that the current-ish health craze to remove trans-fats (hydrogenated oils) from the market is, in fact, destroying the rain forest! Ha! I even laughed out loud in class at that one. Turns out, the foods we love so much that used to contain trans-fats require some kind of delicious alternative. That alternative is palm oil. All of a sudden there was a giant demand in the market for palm oil to which suppliers responded in force! Oil palm plantations are dominating land where rain forest once thrived. This is mostly so in Indonesia - but apparently it's happening to a lesser extent (though still significant) in Costa Rica as well.

Directly following my time in Costa Rica was a one week fellowship for which I had managed to qualify. The Sustainable Energy Fellowship taught a group of 40 university students the ins and outs of sustainable energy. We learned about wind and solar power, nuclear power, fuel cells, batteries, carbon emissions and their politics, and we had a great time learning about all of them! I finally shed my hippie views of nuclear power equaling the stupidest idea ever, and instead adopted the idea of energy resource diversity in terms of feasibility. I made some great contacts, and again met people from all over the country, studying a variety of different disciplines. This project started out being a free ticket home from Costa Rica, but I ended up benefiting much more from it than simply a free ticket. I hope to use this knowledge in some of my future endeavors.

While at the University of Michigan for this fellowship, I got a job offer back home! Hot damn! So in addition to coming home to friends and family, I also get to come home to a job! I'm accepting a position with Oregon Metro doing hazardous waste disposal. This is the same job I had before I left for the Peace Corps, four years ago, but I'll be at a different facility, a slower facility. This means there will be some extra time to implement some creative projects that I hope will utilize my overseas experiences to benefit my community and my new coworkers!

I'm in a good place, emotionally, physically, and mentally, to start my life over in the Pacific Northwest. Not that I necessarily need to "start over", but I've finally got a chance to plant some roots and bring a bit of stability to my life. I'm excited at the prospect of this new adventure called normalcy, and I can't wait for all the pieces to fall into place!

My picture site is ready if you want to have your mind blown with my mind-blowing photography skills. I think my subsequent posts will be on the order of my adjustment to living in the USA and reverse culture shock after being away for four years. Thanks for reading. Stay tuned!